My High School Love Life
by Miss Ame
Summary: Very many say that high school changes peoples' lives for the best or for the worst, and for Tai, it had magnified the version 'for the worst' to an extreme.
1. Summer and Ice Cream Freshman Year

  
  
  
**My High School Love Life**   
_Part One_   
  
_**Summer and Ice Cream**_   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
Five years ago. Five years ago, that's when everything began. I didn't understand how I could be so susceptible to falling in love, but I was. Should I regret that?   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
She was walking through the hallways of Odaiba High like a goddess. Her brown-red hair, cut short, bounced lightly off her shoulders as she took her steps. She waved to people she knew, and flashed her beautiful, lunette smile at me. "Hey Tai," she said, as she stopped in front of me and my locker.   
  
  
  
"Hey," I replied, acting in my usual state: _ nonchalant_. "I heard about you and Hayato. Who ended it?" I asked. I would beat the soul out of the guy if I found out that he hurt her in any way, shape or form.   
  
  
  
She smiled at me and waved it off. "I called it off. It just didn't seem right you know? I mean, he's a completely different person when you really get to know him. I just didn't see us fit, so I said that it was over."   
  
  
  
I looked deep into her eyes and noticed the clouds forming from her transient bright eyes. She was lying, I knew, but I would just let her go on and tell me when she wanted to. I nodded to her, trying not to show what I had seen. I was happy at that time because the bell just rang. "Well... I'll talk to you at lunch then okay? Oh, and after school. What are you doing then?" I would probably interrogate her then.   
  
  
  
"Nothing much. Just the regular homework. Why? Wanna hang out?" she asked. The clouds seemed to move away a little and her voice was on a lighter note than the start.   
  
  
  
"Yeah. Just to talk. I mean, we haven't been doing that lately."   
  
  
  
She nodded and waved 'bye' to me before turning towards her classroom.   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
Okay, so I'll tell you a little about Hayato so you'd understand our conversation. He was her boyfriend. As she said, she 'called it off' so I put it in the past tense. He was just some guy at our school who's dated practically half the girls in the freshman year. I could understand how she acted so cool about it, but then I didn't understand why the clouds arose in her eyes. The guy was a jerk. I warned her, but she always hated it when I told her 'I told you so.'.   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
As I walked outside into the fresh Odaiba air, I noticed that Sora wasn't waiting for me at the bottom of the entrance stairs. Her class was closer to her locker than my class was to my locker, so usually she would always be the first one out. I waited for ten minutes thinking that maybe her teacher held her back for a couple of minutes but when she still didn't show, I just walked to my family's apartment and sat on the mat waiting for her to arrive. She would come eventually.   
  
  
  
A couple minutes later though, I stood up from boredom. There must have been a better to way to pass time quickly. Since she still didn't return home, I figured that where ever she was, she would be there longer so I decided to take one walk around the park to pass time.   
  
  
  
I decided that walking slow would be good to do since it was a pretty small park, and a normal pace around the entire park would be accomplished in just about twenty minutes. Sora would probably still be where ever she was at in just twenty minutes.   
  
  
  
Looking around the park, I began to noticed just how much benches there were. Odd... were these new? I've never seen them around before. Maybe I was just unobservant.   
  
  
  
As I began counting the benches, I saw a lone figure crying on one. It was a familiar figure, so I decided to rush towards it. "Sora...?" I asked, touching her shoulder lightly.   
  
  
  
She looked up at me with her beautiful, but sad crimson eyes. "Tai..." was all she said before breaking down into more tears.   
  
  
  
I sat beside her, gathered her petite form into my arms, just sitting there, embracing her in silence. I understood that she didn't want to talk right now. She would tell me everything that happened later. Right now, I just knew to keep my mouth shut. Knowing Sora for fourteen years back then, gave me the knowledge to remain silent until she began the conversation, at times like these.   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
That night, Sora went over to my home, and she let everything out about how she couldn't possibly stay with the jerk. He was an ass, and I was right for saying all the mean things that I told her the night she gave me the news of her new '_relationship_'. She cried harder because she thought that since she chose that type of guy to be with, she was afraid that she might choose that type of a man to marry. She was scared. Sora was scared.   
  
  
  
"You're wrong... It was the first time that you've ever been in that type of a relationship with a guy, and you were probably just caught up in the whole '_Valentine's Week_' thing. I mean I know that you're you, and ever since I met you, you were always a tomboy, but you're still a girl. I bet you the only reason why he dated that much girls was because he cheated," I said, trying to make her smile.   
  
  
  
She gave me a look of confusion, and I smiled. "What do you mean?". This was my cue.   
  
  
  
"Maybe he lets out pheromones that make every freshman girl out there want to go out with him."   
  
  
  
She cracked a smiled. My mission was successful. "By the way Tai," she began.   
  
  
  
"Hmmm...?" I murmured.   
  
  
  
"Those _were_ new park benches," she ended. It was my turn to smile.   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
It was a short relationship that she had with Hayato, and boy was I happy. I mean I certainly didn't want my best friend dating some guy who would just end up hurting her, for that long. Besides, it gave me more quality time with her. Why should I complain? Since the jerk got off her back, I had Sora all to my self. So you can call me greedy, but she _was_ my best friend. Who didn't want to spend time with her? I thought that it was the best past time in the world. Unfortunately for me, it back fired.   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
I held out an ice cream cone to her, as she sat down on the porch bench that summer. "Want?" I asked motioning the cone towards her.   
  
  
  
She smiled gratefully at me and took it. "Thank you so much! Nothing like a cold dessert to cool you off in the scorching weather huh?" she said, looking out towards the view over the town.   
  
  
  
"Yeah. We're like ginger bread cookies, baking in the heat. Just two more hours and we'll be ready to eat," I joked.   
  
  
  
She laughed, and moved forward a little to peel off her wet back from the bench. She jerked a little too hard, and she accidentally dropped her cone. "Damn!" she cursed.   
  
  
  
Damn was right. Her ice cream and mine were the last scoops that I scraped off, out of the container. "Here..." I said offering mine to her. She shook her head.   
  
  
  
"Sheesh Tai, you act as if we barely know each other!" With that, she grabbed my hand which was holding the ice cream cone, and she took a bite. "Let's just share," she said.   
  
  
  
I nodded. She was right. She was like a sister to me. Another Kari... but this day, when I looked at her, I felt something different. Something that I had never felt for her before. The way she took that bite from my ice cream. The way she touch my hand, and let it slide off when she was finished. The way she smiled.   
  
  
  
The rest of the time, we spent throwing Sora's wasted ice cream down on peoples' heads as they walked underneath the porch of my apartment.   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
That was I day I figured out I was in love.   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
**Author's Notes: ** Okay, a short little chapter for you all. I don't know, but this idea just popped into my head, and I just *had* to write it. I love Taiora, and I haven't made any fics filled with just them so far, so I decided that this would be the best fic to send out. Hope that you enjoy.   
  
Oh, this fic won't be too long, I promise. It will be about five chapters long. Four, for the four years of their high school lives, and the fifth as an epilogue.   
  
O yeah, I know that I said '_A Devil's Halo_' was the only fic that I was going to write, but I couldn't help myself. I haven't read any fluffy Taiora's in a while, and I miss them! I _MUST_ write this!!!   
  
Please review!   
  



	2. Up and Downs Sophomore Year

  
  
  
  
  
**Author's Notes:** ^_^ Wow, thank you so much for the reviews!!! You have no idea how much they mean to me! Thank you!!! Oh yeah... umm.. here in my fic, I'm going to leave it as it is in most American high schools, meaning that their first year in high school starts in ninth grade.   
  
  
  
I won't bother you with anything more... but please enjoy!   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
**My High School Love Life**   
_Part 2_   
  
_**Up and Downs**_   
_(A/N: I didn't make the up singular because of a mistake. It's just the way I wanted it to be.) _   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
I was sitting down on my porch bench alone at night one day, just looking over the whole town. I guess I stayed there up until sun rise, because I remember seeing the red-orange hue outlining the buildings. I remember thinking that it was beautiful. Beautiful. The word that I like to describe Sora as.   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
It was the end of summer... unfortunately. Although we all knew our dreaded school time would eventually come, I didn't think that it would arrive this soon. I loved those days just lounging around the town, playing horrible pranks on people whom we hated. Usually though, we would just sit around in front of the fan in my room. There was hardly any physical activity because of the heat. Now... those lazy days were over, and we had to go back to school. This time, we were no longer the clueless 'tykes' _infesting_ the high school halls. We were now accepted within the 'older' crowd. They no longer picked on us, or humiliated us. The joys of sophomore years!   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
You have to understand that I was a crazy teen, and I guess you can say that I still am... but this isn't about me _now_... not yet at least. Where was I? Oh yeah... I was the loudest in class, I loved to disrupt my teachers... but they loved me anyway... It seems like they just love kids like that... hmm... weird. Anyways... now that you know that part of me... I will tell you about my first day of school.   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
There was a flash of massive brown hair, running through the school hallways. My massive brown hair. By the way, Sora was chasing me.   
  
  
  
"Come back here you big dolt!" she yelled at me, laughing.   
  
  
  
We were disrupting the people who were lining up to get their class schedules... but right then and there, I remembered feeling not a care in the world. I was having too much fun. Unfortunately, a teacher came up to us and told us to stop, but being the sly kid I was, I didn't just give in. "Why Ms. Inuki? I mean I know that there's a school rule forbidding us to run around the school hallways with any sharp object, but Sora and I don't even have our back packs on, _and_ we're not holding anything considered dangerous to run with," I explained.   
  
  
  
She looked at me, impressed. I was the type of kid who didn't usually follow the rules, so she was surprised that I even _read_ the high school handbook, which I really didn't. It was just a lie I made up on the spot, form common sense. Turns out, I was right. There _was_ a rule like that, since she implied it with the look on her face. So we were off the hook. Great. "Just be a little more quiet, and don't run too fast," she said, before smiling at both of us, and walking away.   
  
  
  
Sora and I looked at each other, and gave fooling smiles. Then, as if we both were connected in the brain, we were both possessed to begin running at the exact same time. This made us stop, and catch our breath. That was practically impossible because we were just laughing way too hard.   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
That the the best time that I remember having with Sora was during the first months of sophomore year. The rest... Ehh... not too well... You see, Sora maybe a little bit of a tomboy. In fact, she would wrestle with me for hours at a time just to try and beat me. Haha... but like _she_ could ever beat me. I was the **king**! But... that's beside the point. So she was a little bit of a tomboy. She even wore shorts and a huge t-shirt for swimming class, but then again, she was a girl, and girls... well... they have their needs. Sometimes, their needs deal with guys, as in boyfriends? You know?   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
She stood by her locker, laughing with her crystal clear, crimson eyes. As I walked towards her, I noticed my best guy buddy talking to her. I haven't seen him since school started so I was surprised. "Hey Matt!" I said, as we both did our little 'so-called _manly_' handshake, as Sora liked to call it.   
  
  
  
"Hey man! How's it been? I haven't seen you in a while. Heard you got caught messing up on the first day of school," he said.   
  
  
  
I shook my head slightly. "No... not really. You know I put up my old Kamiya charm on the 'teach then she let me off the hook," I answered.   
  
  
  
"Slick."   
  
  
  
I nodded, then I turned to Sora who just finished taking out her Algebra II book from her locker. She raised the book and tapped me slightly on the head. "You know Tai, if you didn't keep screwing up in eight grade math, you might just be in my class, unlike your geometry class now. I _told_ you - and this I cannot express enough - study! Do your homework! Do _something_ in class besides disrupting it, and asking me for help after. One day, you'll never, know. I might just leave you to do your own work."   
  
  
  
I slightly glared at her. "You're evil."   
  
  
  
"Oh yes..." she replied.   
  
  
  
Matt laughed at this, as we all walked towards the lunchroom.   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
At that time, Matt and Sora were just friends. The type of friends that our group had... Like the type of friendship that I had with Mimi. Nothing was going on between them. In fact, one day, Sora told me that she had a crush on some rocker dude name Yishno. I'm like: "What kind of a name is Yishno? I can't even pronounce that!"   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
"So... have anything on your mind...? Any_one_ maybe...?" I asked, being the sly fox that I was.   
  
  
  
Sora smiled at me, and rolled over on her stomach, grabbing a 'zine from my the top of my dresser to read.   
  
  
  
I continued to stare at her, and this made her break down into fits of laughter.   
  
  
  
"Okay, okay... yeah... Seesh Tai... There's just something about you that I can't lie to. It's weird," she began.   
  
  
  
"Yeah..." I urged her on.   
  
  
  
"His name is Yishno-"   
  
  
  
"Are you sure that's how you say his name?" With this, she threw a pillow at me.   
  
  
  
"Tai!"   
  
  
  
"Okay okay... It sounds like food," I said, getting up. "I'm hungry."   
  
  
  
I could almost feel Sora's playful glare, burning a hole through my back. I smiled, content with the way my life was even if her heart, at that moment, was not mine.   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
Now-a-days, during the night, I would lie down on my bed, staring at the ceiling wondering what would have happened back then if I just told her that I had feelings for her. I still think about in fact although I feel that if I've said it while we were younger, I would have already been through the rejection, and half my mind would forget about it, and just move it. It drives me crazy and every night, I dream of what it would be like to have had Sora Takenouchi as my girlfriend.   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
I walked down the perimeter of the high school's exterior walls. Just then, I overheard two familiar voices coming from the bench areas of the school. I slowed down my pace. I'm not very much of an eavesdropper but Sora was my friend and I had the right to know what was going on.   
  
  
  
"...So I was just wondering if maybe we could just talk a bit sometime... you know... I mean my friends and I are going to the movies and I was just wondering if you would like to go with me to them. I would really enjoy your company there," I heard the familiar voice say.   
  
  
  
"You seem so nervous Sora..." I heard the other, more deeper, voice say. I stepped a little ways closer so I could see the two standing to the left of an empty school bench. I saw Yishno lift Sora's chin up in order to see her eyes. "There's no need to be. We've known each other for a good while now..." he said trailing off for a moment.   
  
  
  
I could tell Sora was holding her breath.   
  
  
  
"Your eyes are truly the most amazing things I've ever seen..." he said, then he went back to the sentence that he wanted to continue on with. "I would have been a pleasure to be with Sora, but you see... Kira had already asked me out, and since girlfriends usually don't like seeing their boyfriends with other girls... Well you catch my drift?"   
  
  
  
Sora let out a long, shaky breath. I wanted to just come out of my hiding place and hug her as long as she needed the comfort. I could tell she was devastated and embarrassed at the same time. "I see... I have to go now. I'm sorry I wasted you time. Your girlfriend truly wouldn't want that," she said before running away opposite the direction of her home.   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
Sora wasn't mad at him, although he knew that Kira was Sora's worst enemy. She was the captain of the cheer leading team, and she would do anything to get back at Sora. I knew that Yishno had an idea about this. If he truly meant all those things he said to Sora, then why did he bother even going out with the bitch? What was wrong with him. Sora certainly didn't blame him, but I did because he broke her heart.   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
I ran towards the park where I knew Sora was at. I sat down on this particular bench with this crying girl on it. "Hey..." I said, and I scooted myself down until I sat right next to her.   
  
  
  
"I'm an idiot Tai," she said, as she sobbed, pressing her hands upon her face, refusing me from taking trying to look into her eyes.   
  
  
  
"No, you're not. It's not your fault he did what he did. It was his decision. Besides that, there are plenty more guys out there better than Yishno could ever be. I mean seriously. Would you want to be with a guy whose name your best friend couldn't even pronounce? Forget about him, and although I know it's hard, we can certainly try right? I'll help you. You know I will."   
  
  
  
She looked at me with a look of gratitude and something else. I couldn't tell what it was since that particular feeling was washed away with every other emotion she had at the moment so I decided to just brush it off.   
  
  
  
"Come on, let's drink some tea and talk this through the old fashioned way," I smiled.   
  
  
  
She smiled back at me, and with that, I knew that Sora would be alright.   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
The next few months, Sora and I didn't talk as much as we did during summer, but it was good enough. Since she now often had certain 'crushes' I went out with one girl to try my desperate attempt at her jealousy.   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
"I heard about Catherine," she said to me one day in the school halls.   
  
  
  
I smiled at this, hoping to sense even the slightest bit of the green-eyed monster from her. "Yeah. I mean we've been friends for a wile then things just started to get serious," I said.   
  
  
  
Anything? Anything Sora? None. "I see... So you two kiss yet?" she asked, as she playfully nudged me.   
  
  
  
I lied to her, and said 'Yes', but before I could see her reaction to this, there was a loud commotion in the hallway. Turns out, someone had stolen Matt's P.E. clothes, and he was running through the hallways with a towel around his naked waist, trying to catch up to the culprit.   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
A couple weeks later, I found out that Sora and Matt began dating. Just when I broke up with Catherine, and was about to confess how I felt about her. This happened during this little gig that Matt had in this auditorium for a different school's dance. I would retell you of that story, but it's just too painful for my to say, so I'll leave it at that. This is why I've said that only the first months of sophomore year were my most enjoyable with my best friend.   
  
  
  
I missed my chance. I wanted to try again... but how?   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
**Author's Notes: ** I know that it's been a while since I last updated. I hope that you're not too mad. Besides, it's only been a couple days past a week. ^_^.. I hope that you've all enjoyed. It's a semi-longer chapter than my first one, but I'm trying not to make them too long. As I've said, this is just going to be a short sweet fic, so that's how I'll try and make it. Please review. 


	3. A New Me Junior Year

  
  
  
  
  
**Author's Notes:** This is eventually going to be a Taiora. I feel kind of hurt to think that one of my readers thought that I was leading them on to a whole different story. Tai is just reminiscing first. Later on, I will switch the story so that it would be in the present, when Tai's about eighteen or nineteen. I hope that you enjoy anyways. I hope that you all enjoy! Please review in the end.   
  
By the way, I'm sorry for this chapter coming out so late... ten days I think... Sorry... hehe... And... A person reviewed and said this: "_I thought this was going to be a Tia/Sora fic.Not a Tia regretting not fighting for Sora_." 1) Um... it's 'Tai'. 2) It will eventually turn out to be a Taiora. In the first chapter I think, I said that Tai was just reminiscing for now. Eventually the story will take place in the present where the Taiora will then take place.   
  
Sorry for the misunderstanding soul 141, I'll try and make it more clear. If you were confused, there must have been others who thought the same thing. Thanks for telling me though!   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
**My High School Love Life**   
_Part three_   
  
  
_**A New Me**_   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
"They say '_drink and be merry_.'. What idiots made _that_ bull up?" Sora told me, as she leaned over the porch railing to gorge her guts out, boy was that disgusting...   
  
  
  
I rubbed her back soothingly trying to calm her down. Alcohol had already taken it's toll on m e as I spent nearly half an hour in the host's bathroom throwing up too, during the party.   
  
  
  
Junior year was going great with the exception of hangovers due to under age drinking and running away from the cops after the party unfortunately had to end because the illegacy was found out.   
  
  
  
Although Sora and I made it out without getting caught, I promised to the heavens that if I _never_ get caught by the cops, I would never touch alcohol ever again. Sora too agreed with me on this.   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
"They made me listen to the worst music I have ever heard of. I swear. I mean, Kari had her little-baby party-warty," I said making baby noises to exaggerate my expressions, "... and I had to be stuck listening to BS for the rest of the the day, baby-sitting her and her friends..." I continued, trying to make my face look as disgusted and mad as possible.   
  
  
  
Sora laughed at this. "BS..." she pondered, then her face lit up and she opened her mouth to speak.   
  
  
  
We looked at each other for a moment then, "Brittany Spears!" we both said at the same time, as we cracked up into fits of laughter.   
  
  
  
"It's been a while Tai..." she told me as she leaned her head on my shoulders. I tensed up a little. We were in public and Catherine could be lurking in the bushes somewhere, seeing Sora and me looking like a couple walking down the park path. Disgustingly corny.   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
You see, after Sora and Matt began seeing each other, Catherine and I went back together. I didn't know for what purpose though, but when she asked me to be her boyfriend again, I just agreed half-heartedly. Possibly, I was still half hoping that there might be at least a nano-jealousy in my best friend.   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
"Love. It's a strange thing. Confusing at times really. Sometimes it's just obvious and other times... there are just the slightest hints... at least one would wish they _were_ hints. Other times, one doesn't see it at all, and that would just bring their whole world crashing down.   
  
  
  
"I mean, you know that feeling you get when your two best friends in the whole entire world begin fighting? It's like: Who should you help? It's the worst choice. It's kind of the same with love. Well... in my predicament actually. It's hard to understand, and I don't want to tell you anything about it, but as I talk right now, I wish that at least one more person in this room would understand what I'm talking about, so I won't look like such a complete idiot hinting about something that I really wish were true. I'm going to stop talking now. Crap..." I said, ending my presentation of my journal write-up.   
  
  
  
"Taichi, now, please, watch your language there," my teacher, Ms. Hiriko said to me as I sat down.   
  
  
  
My face was completely red and I knew it because of that stupid burning sensation you get when you blush. I looked around the room. Some people were sleeping with their mouths slightly open... drool running down the corners of their lips. I looked over at Matt... figures. He _always_ slept in his classes. My eyes darted around again. Some people were picking at their nails or resting their head on their hands, pretending to listen to the presenters in the class. Like they gave a damn. There was only one face, out of the whole class that was looking at me. Now her face was turned back around. Sora. What was that about?   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
"You're driving me insane here Taichi!" Catherine yelled at me, as we were sitting down on my couch, my arms around her shoulders.   
  
  
  
I gave her a little look, and turned my attention back to the television. "How?" I asked absent-mindedly.   
  
  
  
She gave a sharp, annoyed sighed, and grabbed my front shirt collar. "What's _wrong_ with you?!" she shrieked in my face.   
  
  
  
Okay, this my got attention. What was _up_ with this girl? "What are you talking about?" I asked, trying to be calm. Everyone knew my temper wasn't very good. Usually when someone yelled at me, I would just yell back even if it were my fault, but I truly had no idea what the hell she was talking about.   
  
  
  
"How long have we been going out hmm Tai?" she asked, annoyingly tapping her fingers against my mom's coffee table.   
  
  
  
"I dunno," I answered her back. Should I? I was the _boyfriend_. It was the _girlfriend's_ job to keep the dates of everything and hint it to their boyfriends, until they guessed about fifty times and still got it wrong.   
  
  
  
"Arggggghhh!!!" she cried out, as she jumped in my lap and stared at me hard in the eyes.   
  
  
  
Okay. This was getting scary.   
  
  
  
"Taichiiiii!!! Kiss me! We've been going out for six months now, and all you could do is hug me or kiss me on the cheek! You're not homosexual, and I can tell because my friend Teki gave me clues on how to know!" Hmm... Teki... nothing to worry about, everyone knew he was gay at school, and he was proud, we really didn't care. He was still a human being after all.   
  
  
  
I shrugged. What to do with the girl? "Catherine..." Maybe if I explained then she would stop. But explain what? The fact that I would rather my lips not be taken by just any girl? That I was in love with Sora Takenouchi and I would much rather have her kiss me first rather than my own girlfriend. No. I'd just be an ass then.   
  
  
  
"Hmm...?" she mumbled, she was a little angry at me, I could understand her though. She had a reason to be mad. I've always been a little distant from her. I never gave her a chance... but Sora... she was nothing like Sora. Okay. So I was being *such* an ass right then. Why was I such a jerk when it came to Catherine?   
  
  
  
"I'm sorry," I said; her face faltered. "... I'm sorry I've been acting like such a jerk. I'm sorry I've been ignoring you... I'm sorry that when you asked me out again the only reason why I said it was because I would gain something from it. I'm sorry I'm such an ass...."   
  
  
  
Catherine stared at me with surprise. "What do you mean you thought you would gain something from it? Did you think I was a slut Tai?" she asked hurt.   
  
  
  
"No! Not at all! Believe me!" I said, placing both hands on either of her shoulders. I didn't want her to get the wrong idea. "... I thought it would get this girl's attention. I'm a jerk..."   
  
  
  
We stayed quiet for a while. I was really dreading this silence. The next thing I'd probably know is that she's taking out a machine gun, shooting me to a bloody pulp, and leave me dead saying 'asshole' as she left.   
  
  
  
I was completely surprised when she told me this: "Well then... I'm a bigger jerk. Ever since I heard that Sora and Matt were going out, I got jealous and you were the first guy who popped into my mind for a jealous revenge. I liked Matt, and I thought that I could use you to be with him. Besides that I was angry at you, so I was satisfied that I could use you and hurt you at the same time... But I don't mean it now and I'm sorry...". That was what she said. Surprising isn't it?   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
With that, Catherine left the apartment. We had occasional greetings in the hallways around school, but besides that, we never really talked much after. Neither did Sora and I.   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
I walked past the Christmas decorated streets of Odaiba that year alone. No more Sora here with me. No one was with me usually in fact. I hated it, so I decided that from that day on, I would change. If I liked something I would do the best I could to get it. If I liked someone, I would tell them. If I was lonely... I would create music to soothe myself... Starting from that day on.   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
"All day staring at the ceiling   
Making friends with shadows on my wall   
All night hearing voices telling me   
That I should get some sleep   
Because tomorrow might be good for something   
  
  
"Hold on   
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown   
And I don't know why   
  
  
"But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell   
I know right now you can't tell   
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see   
A different side of me   
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired   
I know right now you don't care   
But soon enough you're gonna think of me   
And how I used to be...me   
  
  
"I'm talking to myself in public   
Dodging glances on the train   
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me   
I can hear them whisper   
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me   
Out of all the hours thinking   
Somehow I've lost my mind   
  
  
"But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell   
I know right now you can't tell   
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see   
A different side of me   
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired   
I know right now you don't care   
But soon enough you're gonna think of me   
And how I used to be   
  
  
"I've been talking in my sleep   
Pretty soon they'll come to get me   
Yeah, they're taking me away   
  
  
"But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell   
I know right now you can't tell   
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see   
A different side of me   
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired   
I know right now you don't care   
But soon enough you're gonna think of me   
And how I used to be   
  
  
"Yeah, how I used to be   
How I used to be   
Well, I'm just a little unwell   
How I used to be   
How I used to be   
I'm just a little unwell..." I sung. Not out loud though. It was more like mumbling with a louder guitar background. Yeah... like I actually wanted people to hear what I was singing. Like I actually wanted people to _hear_ me singing. I would rather let them keep their hearing.   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
**Author's Notes:** I know that I made Tai into that whole 'singing guy' thing, but I couldn't help it. It just seems so right for him to sing! Don't you just love it when guys sing ^_^? It's so unusual for them to sing meaningful songs, but it's so great when you hear a really nice song with a really nice voice! Oh yeah, by the way, Tai's exaggerating. He sings just as good as he did in '_Between Acts, Truth, and Real Life_'. I hope that you all enjoyed.   
  
  
  
Please review! 


	4. The Day Tai Died Senior Year

  
  
  
  
**Author's Notes:** I'm sorry, but there will be metioning of some sexual activity in this chapter, but only MENTIONINGS of it. It's not a lemon or whatever okay? Just to warn everyone. By the way, it's not going to be with who some might have thought it would have been with... Don't get me? Read on.   
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
**My High School Love Life**   
_Part Two_   
  
**_The Day Tai Died_**   
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
I grinned like an insane bob cat that day, I remember. I sighed, as I sat in the driver's seat of the car, looking ahead, waiting for my final result by the 'tester'. My forehead as dripping with nervous sweat, and my palms were practically crying an ocean.   
  
  
The old, balding man turned to me with his dull eyes and said, "Great job... Ta... Taichi... You pass in the driving part of the test. Now, follow me to get your picture taken."   
  
  
The both of us stepped out of the car and strode to the DMV building. I was practically skipping for joy.   
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
My picture was taken, and then the old man said that I would have to wait a couple days for my driver's permit. Of course I agreed. I waited seventeen years of my life for the moment to drive, and I was finally going to be awarded.   
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
Okay, I know, you're probably calling pathetic right about now because of the fact that I waited until senior year to get my license, but then again, I was part of the cut off months and birth year, so I had to wait. Actually I had to wait until I was eighteen, but... You know me. I don't like rules. Let's just say that all those workers needed was an extra large _tip_.   
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
A couple days later, I drove in with my dad's old car. It was old, but it was a classic. It still worked well and it brought me to the places that I needed to get to, so I was happy. I, for once, was not late for my first period class.   
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
"Hey Tai, heard about you getting your permit. Pretty cool. I'm getting mine in a year..." mumbled my best friend.   
  
  
See, although I said that I hardly ever talked to her, I didn't say that I _never_ talked to her.   
  
  
"You know all you have to do is put up the little _'Taichi charm'_ that I've taught you before. If you forgot, I'll teach you again-" I began, but just then Matt walked in on the conversation, and I stopped.   
  
  
"Oh... Um..." Sora looked uncomfortable, as she shifted around the tiny tile on the school's hallway floor. "I'll talk to you later then..."   
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
"One never knows what will happen in their lives do they?" Mimi once asked me one day as we laid down on the roof of my car at one o'clock in the morning.   
  
  
"I guess not. It's just like out there... In the universe. One never knows what really goes on up there..." I said gazing up at the stars with my head resting on my folded arms behind my neck.   
  
  
"If a tree falls down where no one is... Does it make a sound?" she asked me, a little dazed from the twinkling of the gaseous balls of light.   
  
  
"Which came first... The chicken or the egg?" I asked, thinking that she was trying to play an answerable question game.   
  
  
"No... I want you to answer that..." she said quietly.   
  
  
"Technically-" I began, but she stopped, and loomed over me. She shifted a little and straddled me.   
  
  
This was an uncomfortable position with a person who was just my friend...   
  
  
"No... What do _you_ think it is? No facts... I _know_ that it makes sounds, technically thinking... but..."   
  
  
"Hmm... In my opinion... I think that it does. There are many other creatures that can hear it, and with that question, it makes it seem as if only humans can hear. That only humans are the ones that really truly matter. Like whatever we see, feel and hear count more than another creatures..." I said. I really didn't have to think this through. Sora and I had talked about something related to this once, and I thought it up there on the stop thinking that I could maybe say it to her one day when the subject was brought up again. Unfortunately, the subject was brought up with Mimi, and not who I wanted it to be... No matters. Mims was still my friend.   
  
  
She looked as if she were pondering about my answer for a while. Her intense mocha colored eyes were practically piercing through my very soul. What the...?   
  
  
She smiled then, and began speaking. "Incredible..." she lightly gasped. "You were always the caring type weren't you Tai?" she asked, running her fingers gently through my hair, and outlining my face.   
  
  
I shrugged at this, then stared at her straight in the eye to catch any emotion that she was feeling right then.   
  
  
"Your answer. It tells me that you care more for others than what's going on in your mind. You would put others before yourself... and I think that's just... sweet..."   
  
  
With this, her face was brought closer to mine. Her waist pressed onto mine and I had that feeling of _want_ from this girl who I've known for such a long time, but never became better acquainted with. I gently pulled her closer to me, but she just gave up on propping herself up with her elbow, and pushed down against my body.   
  
  
_You would not imagine the surge of **need** in my body right then and there..._   
  
  
"Tai..." she whispered as she brought her face closer to mine.   
  
  
I cupped her face gently and brought it towards mine until I could finally touch her lips with mine.   
  
  
Mimi rested her whole body against mine. I lightly picked her up and exchanged positions with her, then pressed my body as close as I could to hers. I heard her give out a little groan before she began undoing my pants.   
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
"I heard about your little rendezvous with Mims Tai..." Sora's voice seemed cold and harsh that day.   
  
  
I stared at her straight in the eyes, but she somehow blocked me from looking further into her feelings.   
  
  
"What the..?! When... no... Where did you hear this?" I demanded.   
  
  
This was between me and Mimi. Who and how the hell could someone else possibly find out? I knew Mimi well enough to know that she would never spill something that private to anyone else. Besides we had promised not to tell any of our friends.   
  
  
"It doesn't matter Tai. What matters is that you did what you did. What's _wrong_ with you? Ever since the end of last year, you've changed into someone I don't even know-" she began, but I interrupted her.   
  
  
"Who the hell are you to say this to me? _You've_ changed, whether you can admit that to yourself or not. I don't understand you anymore. Besides that. When we were younger, we had _promised_ each other that although we were in a relationship, we would never just throw our friendship away. You did that. _You_ started this mess, and now you're practically implying that I should fix the problem?" I yelled.   
  
  
"I never said anything about fixing anything-" she started again, but my anger blocked any reason from within my brain and I went full out on her.   
  
  
"You don't think that I know you well enough. Well I don't care how long we haven't been in contact with each other now-a-days okay? I still know you Sora. I can still read you like a little children's book. I can read anything you say and do in between the lines, so don't you go telling me that bull about what you didn't say!"   
  
  
People were turning their heads from their lockers and friends to stare at us. I didn't care right now. I was too angry, but just as I became angered, I regretted it. I had hurt her. I hurt Sora. I hurt the only girl that I would ever truly love. What a bastard I was.   
  
  
Mimi came and took me away from the scene, and I left Sora there, standing all alone.   
  
  
Oh gods Sora...   
  
  
I am so sorry...   
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
That night, I spent nearly six hours, continuously trying to call Sora. I owed her a sorry. No. I owed her something much more than that, but I had no idea what. I wanted to make it up to her. I was such an ass, and although it would have been much better if she didn't talk about it in the school hallway, I didn't really care at that moment. Just right then I wanted to say sorry to her. I wanted to hold her and give her the warmest, most welcoming embrace that I would ever give.   
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
Finally during my seventh continuous hour, Sora finally picked up the phone and answered in a worn-out voice.   
  
  
"Tai..." she began. Her words were slow and tired as if she had been in some other argument, and her usually fiery attitude was put out.   
  
  
"Sora. I'm sorry... Look. I don't know how I could ever make it up to you, but I swear that I am the sorriest guy alive in the world right about now. I want you to forgive me, and I know that it's hard, but I can't stand you being mad at me. I can't stand not talking to you. It was driving me crazy that I couldn't talk to you, so I took out all my anger on you today, and I just couldn't help it. I'm sorry, and I know no matter how many times I say it, it won't fully patch up the things that I said to you earlier, but I hope that it would help, if only for just a tiny microscopic band-aid in our broken friendship..." I explained to her. Oh gods I missed her, and it drove me crazy. I was crazy, yes. I was nuts not being able to be with her.   
  
  
I heard a little laughter from the other line before she began talking again. "Tai... I've missed you too... I forgive you for what happened in the hallways today... but we still need to talk about what happened between you and Mimi..."   
  
  
I sighed. I didn't want to talk about it. It was a spur of the moment thing, and the two of us weren't really thinking. Although I disapproved of what I did, I had to agree with myself that it was what I had been training myself to do. Get what I wanted, when I wanted it. I got what I wanted, but not for the reason I wanted it to be for. Love. I liked Mimi, sure... but did I love her?   
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
After that day with Mimi and me, the people around school learned what happened. Girls would surround me and press their slutty bodies on me... Oh kami-sama... how could I...? Then I would agree and let my brain and my hormones get the best of me...   
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
You can say that I completely changed from when I was a freshman up to then, when I was a senior, but I still carried my 'Taichi charm'... this time though, I would use it to get out of sleeping with some girl or going out on a date. There were even rumors spreading about in the hallways of high school from some girl who I hadn't slept with yet saying how I was like a miracle in bed. Back then I would smile and keep the girls guessing, but now, I'm just ashamed and disgusted with what I became.   
  
  
Sora still talked to me, we still hung out, but there was a part of her that grew then, that disliked me. She didn't like what I was doing to myself or those girls. As my best friend though, she felt that it was her duty to stay with me. So that's what she continued to do...   
  
  
Although she called me her best friend though... she didn't know my deepest, darkest secret: That the only reason why I was doing this was because of my depression. I thought that it would be a great substitute for not being with Sora. Boy was I wrong. The day that I ruined my reputation was the day 'Taichi' died.   
  
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
**Author's Notes: ** I'm truly sorry for taking such a long time to update my stories. School's completely stressing me out! Anyways, I hope that you all enjoyed. Please review! 


	5. A New Revelation

**Author's Notes:** Hah! Forget school! This was my full-out lazy time! . No... Actually, I was writing a fic for a different anime, but that didn't turn out very well. I owe it up to my reviewers to update, and I'm sorry! I hope that I satisfy you with the last chapter of this fic. Oh, and 'A New Kind of Fairy Tale' will have a new chapter released when I find that stupid file I wrote it on.   
  
Oh... I'm sorry about what I did to Tai. I know that it wasn't right, but I was writing this fic based on what happened to someone at school. It was just to let out my thoughts on that person and their messed-up life. Fortunately for Tai, he's a fictional character, and his life can still be turned the right side up. Also, fortunately for him, I'm an author who just loves happy endings.   
  
**a-Leng:** Grr... the rating PG-13 is really spread out at the top left corner of the screen isn't it? Haha... well... so far, all my fics are rated PG-13, so yeah, . It's okay, I miss A LOT of things too. It was rated PG-13 all along. .   
  
I'm sorry!   
  
Enjoy!   
  
Please review in the end!!!   
  
**My High School Love Life**   
_Part Five_   
  
_**A New Revelation**_   
  
Well graduation sucked. My grades sucked, my relationships with girls sucked and basically, I screwed around with my life, so that sucked too. The only thing that was good that came out of it was the fact that Matt needed a song writer, because the last one he hired... yes... hired... wanted to get a raise. He of course dropped him, and Sora recommended me to him, and he couldn't refuse his girlfriend, so he obliged.   
  
During graduation, Matt and his band played practically all the songs that I wrote, and some old ones too. It was a lame night, but one good thing came out of it.   
  
You see, there was this music producer who heard that there was a teenage band that was popular around Odaiba and he heard that they were playing during our high school graduation, so he decided to come and watch. When he heard all the songs being played, and the band that was playing it, he immediately became interested.   
  
The next day, he called everyone who had to do with the band at that present time, to come to his office. What we didn't know was the he was the music producer of one of the most popular music labels. He immediately wanted to start the recordings of the songs. Everything was great... all great... For Matt that is.   
  
A year after this happened, **'The Wolves**' as the band was called, became popular all over Japan and other areas of Asia. I was still the writer of their songs, so I was payed a great amount of money too... but I was still the 'man behind the scenes', just like how I was with Sora.   
  
I had stopped my crazy relationships with all those women because I just realized that no matter what, nothing could ever replace the emptiness inside of me that was without Sora. I loved her. Her and only her. No matter how many nights I spent with someone, no matter how much time I tried to spend with someone to get to know them, they weren't Sora, so I could never be happy.   
  
She was happy with Matt, as I could see. At least in my eyes, she was. I just wanted her to be happy. Like Mimi told me before: I cared more about the other people in my life rather than myself... Up until I started ruining my reputation of course, but that stopped.   
  
"I think today's the day Tai..." Matt told me one day, as the band was lounging inside of this expensive hotel in Kyoto, where the band had a gig that night.   
  
"What day?" I asked confused. Sheesh, if a guy's gonna say something as vague as that, might as well not say anything at all, or back it up with an explanation or something.   
  
He turned to me, with this bright smile on his face, and he jumped off the bed to sit right in front of me. As I watched him, he pulled out a small, black, velvet box... and I instantly knew what he meant.   
  
There was silence for a second between us, until he opened the box.   
  
"See this?" he said excitedly, like some giddy little school boy. The ring shone with the light that cascaded through the porch blinds.   
  
I looked at it half-heartedly. This was it. This was the day that I would officially lose Sora. "Yeah man..." I said, forcing my tone to be normal.   
  
"I'm planning to ask Sora to marry me today, during the concert," he said, as he snapped the box closed. "I can't believe I'm gonna do this... I mean, we're only nineteen for kami sake, but still... Ya know? We've been together for so long..." he sighed.   
  
I just stared at him, not knowing how to act in a situation like this.   
  
"I mean, I know that she's been saving herself up for marriage and everything which makes everything better."   
  
I gave him a strange look right then. "What do you mean? Haven't _you_ been saving yourself up for her too?"   
  
Matt looked at me as if I just said the most insane thing ever. "Of course not! Dude, with all those girl's following my band around during high school... who could resist?"   
  
I must have looked like such an idiot right then and there because my mouth was hanging wide open. He and Sora had been going out since sophomore year and I knew that Matt had more morals than to sleep with girls when he was as young as a freshman, and I also knew that he wasn't sleeping with girls when he was a sophomore. He wasn't going out with Sora during the first half, and he and I were still very good friends then, so he would have told me.   
  
That could only mean one thing...   
  
"You were cheating on Sora..." What I said came out to be more like a statement rather than a question. I was so shocked...   
  
I could barely hear Matt telling me that he had cheated on her, but I vaguely blocked that out. I couldn't think, move, or speak. What was I _supposed_ to think? Do? Say? I knew that I was Sora's best friend, but during the year since I was hired as Matt's song writer, we became really good friends again.   
  
Just then, I snapped when I heard him say how no one ever knew about it. "It was during senior year when I thought 'The hell with it! It's my last year as a high schooler!'" he explained. "So I did... But it was all during that same time when you were sleeping with other girls, exclusively. Your story was much more popular 'cause no one would've ever thought that _you_ innocent, wacko Kamiya, would do anyone before marriage... but you did! Of course, the school would have already thought that the leader of a band would eventually have sex, so I wasn't mentioned... I forgot to thank you for that, by the way Tai. I mean, if it weren't for you, the story on me would have been big, and Sora would have dumped me!"   
  
I glared at him for a second before I stood up and walked out of the door.   
  
I wouldn't hit him. I _couldn't_ hit him. It was partially my fault that Sora didn't realize what a cheating bastard Matt was.   
  
I was blindly walking through the sidewalks, and I wasn't watching where I was going. I bumped into so much people, but eventually, I _crashed_ into someone and we both fell over.   
  
The next thing I know, I'm kneeling over, looking below me, at a pair of confused, ruby colored eyes.   
  
"Sora...? Oh! Sora! Oh, crap... I'm sorry!" I said, immediately standing up and helping her up onto her feet.   
  
She blinked a little bit and tried to set her mind straight, then she looked over at me and smiled. "Tai! Hey! I was just going over to the hotel to say 'hi' to everyone," she said.   
  
"Funny... I was just thinking about you too..."   
  
"What were you doing out here, walking as if you were blind?" she laughed.   
  
Gods, I loved her voice. I loved her laugh... No... I loved her. Sora: the whole deal. I shook my head out of these thoughts, temporarily, and looked over at her again. "Just decided to walk..." I lied. "I was concentrating on how much steps it took for me to get to the park and back to the hotel, so I decided to be ignorant and not look where I was going," I continued.   
  
"Ahh... I see..." she nodded. "Mind if I help you count then?" she asked.   
  
I happily agreed, so for those past couple hours before the The Wolves concert, she and I talked about unimportant events, and our childhood, and that summer after our freshman year.   
  
I couldn't speak to Matt. I didn't want to, but he didn't seem bothered by it. He still asked Sora to marry him during the concert and she... well...   
  
"Before I sing this song, which by the way, goes out to my one and only, Sora..." I rolled my eyes at this, "I want to ask her something very important!" Matt said, during the middle part of the concert. The whole crowd was apprehensive as to what he would say.   
  
No... No... No, no, no, no, no!!! It was supposed to end with me telling her how I really felt about her, _before_ she was engaged! Why the hell was it, that whenever I had my chance to tell Sora that I loved her, my throat would become constricted, and I couldn't tell her. I couldn't say it... No matter how many times I practiced it in front of my mirror during high school.   
  
Sora looked just like everyone else in that crowd. She was awaiting the question anxiously, but by the looks of it, she had no clue as to what he was just about to ask her.   
  
"Will you marry me Sora Takenouchi?" he asked. The whole crowd was excited now, but they still remained silent, awaiting for Sora's answer.   
  
Sora's expression dropped to that of a confused girl. She was shaking her head, repeating an ambiguous mantra over and over again before replying: "I can't Matt... Not yet..." before she ran out of the corridors.   
  
The crowd 'boo-ed' and disagreed with her answer, but she was already long gone. Of course Matt couldn't just abandon his audience, so he began singing anyway.   
  
I took this opportunity to run after her.   
  
I found her sitting in the benches of that very park she and I were just walking to and from, that morning. Her face was pale and white as if she had just seen as ghost, but it was void of any expressions.   
  
"Sora..." I said softly, as I walked over to her and sat down next to her on the bench, just like the first time I ever did that during our freshman year, when she went through her first break-up.   
  
She looked away and covered her face with her hands and began sobbing.   
  
"What's wrong...?" I asked. I was definitely confused. She had been with Matt long enough, why didn't she say yes?   
  
"Mmm..." she mumbled, while her hands blocked her mouth from getting out any real words.   
  
I sighed. "Confused?" I asked her.   
  
She nodded at this, and took away her hands from her face. "I... I don't know Tai..."   
  
I gave her a look of understanding, before I noticed that she was slightly shaking. I took my jacket off and placed it over her shoulders, going up next her her to rub either arm to give her warmth. "Hey... It's cold out here... Why don't we go to your hotel, drink some tea, and talk this over the old fashioned way?" I suggested.   
  
This made her smile brightly and I was a little confused, but happy none-the-less.   
  
"What?" I asked smiling now, as we walked towards her hotel.   
  
"It's just... You asked me the same thing when Yishno rejected me..." she replied.   
  
Oh yeah... "Pfft... Yishno... I mean seriously... I think his dad was drunk then, suggesting a name while his speech was slurred... Yishno... HAH!"   
  
She laughed at this, as she gently laid her head on my arm, as we continued walking down the cold streets of Kyoto.   
  
Thirty minutes and two cups of hot tea later, Sora and I rested in her hotel's little dining room.   
  
"I couldn't say yes Tai..." she said, as she lightly played with the rim of her tea cup.   
  
I didn't say anything, but just nodded. I would let her tell me everything before I spoke up. This was the way it always was: when one of us was hurt, or just felt bad about something, the other would just listen until they were finished.   
  
She remained quiet for a while again, and spoke up once more. Before, she was just staring at the table and her tea, but now, she stared at my eyes directly. "I don't love him," she stated strongly. "I don't think I ever did. I don't think I ever could! It's strange, 'cause I've stayed with him for so long, but I only stayed because I knew how heart breaks felt like. I just didn't want to break his heart. I _couldn't_ love him Tai... You see... I think... I think that I loved - um... _Love_, someone else..."   
  
Someone else?! Who else _was_ there? She would've told me! I just know it!   
  
"I'm just afraid to tell them 'cause all I think they think of me as is... just a really good friend you know? Maybe even a sister... Besides... Not to mention the fact that I'm still with Matt, and I feel obligated to stay with him..." she gave me the most piercing gaze she had ever given me during our whole friendship.   
  
"Who else are you close to Sora?" I asked desperately. "Is there someone else you're close to, and you're not telling me?" There was no way... No way that I would lose her to anyone else. She already admitted that she didn't love Matt... so I thought that I had a chance, but now what? What would be of Sora and me?   
  
She gave me a weak smile. "You're always been a dork, haven't you Tai?" she asked, lightly leaning over the table, and tipping my nose lightly.   
  
I stared at her confused.   
  
"It's confusing to explain, but I know that nothing will ever happen. Of course... It's ridiculous 'cause he thinks of me as his sister..." with this, she lightly wrinkled her nose in feigned disgust.   
  
"Sora..." I gave her a warning tone. Who _was_ this guy?   
  
"Let's just say that I can't marry Matt right now, okay? I can't love him until I have the closure that I need, but I know I will never have that, because I'm a big chicken who can't reveal their feelings anymore, after being tired of getting hurt. Let's talk about something else..."   
  
"Look, I brought up back here to talk with you, and I will get what I want..." I gave her a cocky smile.   
  
She sighed and looked at me straight in the eye... then she stood up, walked around the table and came closer towards me.   
  
I must admit that I have always dreamed that Sora would give me the look that she was giving me right now, but I never imagined that I would react so differently.   
  
I suddenly stood up from my seat and backed away from her. "Oh," was all that escaped from my lips. '_Me..._'   
  
How many times have I wished for this? How many hours? Minutes? Seconds? Days? _Years_? Then all of a sudden I move away?! Was I insane?!   
  
"Yes..." she answered, as she stopped, slightly taken aback from my actions.   
  
"We..."   
  
"Can't. I know that now..." she looked so horribly depressed with this, but her eyes shone hope. "But... Can I just ask why?"   
  
"B... Because..."   
  
Don't say it Tai...   
  
"I..."   
  
Don't break her heart.   
  
"I don't love you."   
  
Ouch.   
  
**Author's Notes:** **** I couldn't call them the **Teenage Wolves**, although I know that was what they were originally called. It's just that they're not going to remain teenagers forever, and some members of the band were one year older than Tai and Matt, so they were twenty.   
  
I know, I know. It's been so long since I've updated any of my Taiora stories. I'm sorry! I just got a major writer's block in the Taiora department. I needed motivation... I guess I've listened to enough songs now that some of my motivation returned.   
  
I know that I originally said that this fic would only be five chapters, but I didn't want this chapter to be too long. I was thinking that I would do that for the _real_ last chapter which would probably be the sixth one titled 'Last Chance'.   
  
Once again, I'm sorry! Please, I hope that you can find it in your hearts to forgive me for my lack of dedication!   
  
Please review. I hope that you enjoyed.   
  



	6. Something Is A Secret

  
  
**My High School Love Life**   
_Part Six_   
  
_**Something Is A Secret**_   
  
Did I mean what I said to her?   
  
The answer's no.   
  
Now then, _why _did I say it you ask?   
  
I understand that I could have just told her right out that I was completely in love with her too, take her in my arms and kiss her - no matter how incredibly corny that may sound, but I didn't. Of course, you know that part already, so basically I'm just repeating myself.   
  
You see, as you have read, I had changed almost completely since the beginning of my freshman year.   
  
Was the change good?   
  
Once again... no.   
  
When Sora and I were standing outside of our elementary school after we had officially graduated fifth grade, Sora had made me promise something...   
  
Flashback   
  
Sora's pretty ruby eyes sparkled as she stared longingly at the school we would never return to for education, for we had finally graduated. We were going to become sixth graders... middle schoolers. We were gradually stepping up the ladder towards adulthood. I was ecstatic while Sora became... well... sad.   
  
"Why're you crying Sora? I don't like it when you cry..." I told her softly as I tried to comfort her by gently rubbing her back, taking her into my arms and hugging her.   
  
"Tai..." she said looking up at me with her tear stained eyes and cheeks.   
  
"Yeah?" I asked, taking the corner of my shirt sleeve and wiping her tears away as I stepped away from the hug.   
  
"You know I hate change right...?" she asked me quietly, as she looked down at the ground. There was silence then she continued on not waiting for my answer. "I heard that when people go to middle school, they change, and things change along with them. I don't want things to change Tai!"   
  
I didn't know what to say. I didn't give her comforting words that began with "Things won't change Sora" because I knew that things were indeed going to change, so instead, I chose to remain silent.   
  
"Tai... promise me... even if everyone else around us changes, neither you or I will change," she practically pleaded me.   
  
I couldn't refuse that, so I smiled. "Yeah, of course I promise."   
  
"Besides, I like the way you are. You should never change Tai!" she finally smiled at me.   
  
"I promise Sora. I promise."   
  
End of flashback   
  
I understand that people do change, and they can't help themselves. In fact, Sora and I had undergone a few changes ourselves since middle school up until now, but Sora's changes were never as drastic as mine. She was still the same innocent, kind, wonderful, beautiful girl that I had always known...   
  
As for me...   
  
Everyday since my senior year, I would look at myself in the mirror with disgust. I would always see some type of uncaring monster who played around with girls' emotions. I hated myself... I hated the way I turned out to be.   
  
Back to the question of why I had told Sora that I didn't love her.   
  
When she implied that she loved me, yes, I admit that I was happy, but I didn't deserve her. The monster that I let myself become didn't deserve her.   
  
I didn't want to lead us into anymore situations, and I wanted to push her away; didn't want to give her hope that we could be together because I would always feel lowly if I were to be with her, therefore never truly enjoying her company, which would then in turn make her depressed thinking that she wasn't making me happy.   
  
Excuses, excuses... I guess that's all they really are... but would if you loved someone so much... wouldn't you want them to be happy? Even if they were happy... without you...?   
  
I wanted to join Matt to America when he asked me to. He wanted me to be his song writer... I could have made a new life for myself.   
  
Just one problem: I was afraid to leave.   
  
It's funny when you think about it. I mean, me, the guy who screwed up his whole possible relationship with the girl he really loved because of some stupid shit he did back in high school.   
  
I didn't want to leave behind my friends and my family here. I had always dreamt about staying in Odaiba, living in a home here and raising a family here. Even though I messed up, I held on to that hope that my dream would come true one day. I was afraid that if I ever left it, even for just a weekend, it would never come true.   
  
After Matt left, Sora and I finally got to hang out the way we used to before high school.   
  
Sounds crazy right? I mean after that conversation where in I lied to her, we had closer communication. Even I was confused, and shocked to say the least. I mean, before I walked out that door, Sora took my hand and asked me if this changed out friendship in any way, shape or form. I didn't lie to her and tell her that it didn't, because both you and I know that it changed our friendship, if not drastically then at least by a bit.   
  
The changed weren't bad actually. In fact, they were great. I started really liking what those changes brought out even though I was still a little confused about it. I mean, after what I told Sora, I noticed that physical contact became more common, as in, more hugs per day, and added kisses to the cheek.   
  
The thing that confused me about the whole situation was the fact that I would have thought Sora would lessen our contact, I mean most people, especially girls, they would be a least a little embarrassed because of the rejection. I mean, I would be at least, I don't know about you.   
  
There was something about her actions that made me think... Maybe... just maybe she knew something that I didn't know.   
  
Not a year after Matt left, he called me from some five star hotel in Hollywood. He said something about how they had 'hit it big' in the United States. Of course everyone already knew that. Television is always a great way for people to know what's going on in the world.   
  
Well, he called and said that the songs that I had written for him when he and his band were still here, were the ones that caused his band to sky rocket. Anyways, he asked if I could go there and be their official song writer.   
  
Author's Point of View   
  
"I don't think you should go Tai."   
  
The said man turned around to face his best friend. "What do you mean Sora? This is the chance of a lifetime! Do you have any idea how much money the Wolves are getting right now Sor? In _U.S. dollars_? It's a dream job, I can't just pass it up!" he exclaimed. He looked at her as if she were insane.   
  
"Tai..." she went up to him and took his hands. "I... I just don't think your family will like that very much..." she stuttered.   
  
"Yeah well... I'm over eighteen. I can do whatever I want now. Come one Sor. Why can't you just support me on this?"   
  
"I... It's just that... Well... Don't you remember what you told me a while ago...? That thing you said about if you leave Odaiba some dream you had will never come true? What if... What if it never comes true...?"   
  
He freed himself from her grasp, then put both hands on either of her shoulders and stared into her eyes. "Look. Sora, I'm not in college right now. I'm working as some stupid soccer side kick coach for some man named 'Kiki', and I still live with my parents. Now tell me how my dream can ever become a reality if I can't even talk to any other girl besides you once they find out about my situation. If I leave... I can actually make that dream become a reality without having to wait so long."   
  
She casted her ruby eyes towards the ground. "Ma...Maybe you're right. I-I guess so. I mean... Yeah. I was just worried about what your family would say anyways. Besides, if they ever find out that I actually _supported_ you on leaving them, your mom will never let me inside the house to eat all that wonderful food she always tends to cook," she finally said, bringing her eyes back up to meet Tai's.   
  
"You can come with me you know?" he suggested.   
  
She shook her head. "I still have college and that stupid waitressing job to help pay for those stupid bills for my small, danky apartment... I think... I think you should just visit. Very often. Oh! And write too! Like everyday. If you miss a day, I'll have to personally bite your head off for that okay?" she smiled sweetly.   
  
Tai turned to face the envelope that Matt had sent him the day after the phone call. "He's already sent me a ticket... I guess he really wants me there right away 'cause it says right here that the flight's tomorrow morning..." he read off.   
  
"_Tomorrow_?! You're crazy! You haven't even told anyone else but me yet. How's everyone else going to take it?"   
  
"I'll pack up, leave then call everyone when I get there," he said.   
  
Sora turned around and crossed her arms. "Well that's a stupid idea Tai."   
  
"Yeah well... As you've said before: I'm always filled with stupid ideas. Now.. do you think you can help me pack up?"   
  
"How much?"   
  
"Not that much, I mean... I _am_ gonna strike it rich there as their song writer aren't I?"   
  
"Yeah... Yeah Tai..." she said somewhat sadly.   
  
Tai's Point of View   
  
Believe me when I say that my actions right there were completely false. Sora was telling me something, but I just didn't try and decipher it. I didn't want to. I wanted to get out of her life as soon as possible. I couldn't, and wouldn't keep ruining her life. You see, as we got closer together again, Sora hadn't even looked at one guy at all. She was slowly torturing me. It was as if she knew how I truly felt and she just kept reeling me in.   
  
She was tempting me to try and get something that I didn't deserve...   
  
... And I didn't know it... but I was slowly falling for her trap...   
  
**Author's Notes:** I'm so sorry!!! I know that this took sooo long to make, and I really do apologize. I've been having writer's block for a while now, and I still have a little bit of it, that's why I wasn't able to finish this story yet, even though I said that I would. I also apologize for the shortness of this chapter! I apologize for the delay, but I thank those who are still reading.   
  
One more thing: I will be taking a vacation to the Philippines for a month, so I apologize for another long delay for my chapter(s). I really wish that you all still continue to read this.   
  
I love you all!   
  
Thanks for you patience.   
  
Please review!   
  



	7. A Gift For Herself

When you love someone, you take into account their faults, and the errors of their past, but you don't count it against them. You do not judge them by them by their mistakes, and instead look on the positive side of things: the things they learned and the way they matured due to what they had done wrong in the past. 

When you love someone - really love someone - you will learn patience. Hope that they will finally one day feel for you the way you feel for them grows within you. Hope that they one you love will finally admit to loving you after hours, days, weeks, months, even years of lies, grows within you.

Perhaps I was being selfish by not admitting my true feeling for her. I could see her everyday without any wandering eyes searching for other men. She waited beside me patiently. I guess the reason why she was so reluctant for me to leave and join Matt in America was because she believed that if I left, her waiting for me would have been in vain. Although that was the last thing I wanted her to believe, how could I break it to her that I lied to her and hurt her so many months ago? She would have hated me.

* * *

Matt's band made it big in the United States. He says he could not have done it without me. I smiled at that. I should have felt happier upon hearing that little admittance, but the fact that Sora and I were thousands of miles apart made my happiness sort of… limited…

Matt did hear about what happened after the concert when Sora ran away after he asked her to marry him. He and I were both very angry with each other at first. He was of course angry at me for somehow making Sora fall in love with me, therefore embarrassing him during his concert, and I was mad at him for even thinking about being mad at me after he carelessly told me of his other affairs whilst he was still with her.

In the end though, he apologized to me and to Sora face-to-face. He admitted that he wasn't even sure if he could remain loyal and faithful to Sora during their marriage while he toured. He had the true blood of a rock artist. He loved his women. He did admit though that he really cared deeply for her in a way that could have possibly been love, but he realized that it was wrong to possibly love someone and sleep with someone else at the same time.

Sora apologized for embarrassing him in front of his audience at that concert. She apologized for not telling him anything sooner. She also apologized and admitted that she had just recently figured that she wasn't in love with him. She loved him, but only as a friend.

I apologized too. I told Matt in private that I had feelings for Sora for the longest time, but I couldn't tell her because there was the conflict with him and her, and the fact that I screwed up badly during senior year.

* * *

"You know Tai, you should just admit it anyway. Sora's one special girl in case you haven't figured that out before. You're gonna regret this in the long run you know?" Matt said.

"You have no idea how much I'm already regretting it Matt, but if I tell her, then what?" I asked.

"Then what Tai? Then what! Then you'll be with her, and if I wasn't always surrounded by beautiful women, I would beat the living shit out of you out of jealousy for stealing my girl," he laughed at this. "You've gotta understand man. Life's not gonna wait for you, or throw opportunities like every so often…"

* * *

We all really matured that summer… We matured enough to even apologize to each other in person about all our hidden secrets.

That was also the same summer Matt left for America. It was only a couple months after that he asked me to join him.

* * *

I lived in America for a year. I lived in my own apartment in New York. I sent my completed songs to Matt every now and then, and sometimes, when the loneliness was too much to bear, I traveled with his band.

I still kept in contact with Sora. I called her almost daily. She told me constantly that since I left, she had more time for her work so she could raise enough money for her next semester's tuition. She wouldn't allow me to help her cause by sending the money that I earned for writing Matt's songs, and let me tell you, it was a bit more than enough in order for me to buy a nice home in a nice neighborhood in New York City.

That's what I love so much about Sora: The fact that even if she did have the easy way out of her predicament, she wouldn't take it. She wanted to work the hardest for herself so she could prove to those around her who didn't believe she could do whatever she wanted, wrong.

* * *

My telephone rang randomly one day, not that something like that was unusual, it just always surprised me every now and then. I picked it up without even checking the caller ID.

"Hey, Tai Kamiya here," I said over the receiver.

"Hey Tai. It's Sora," a woman's voice said on the other line.

"Hey Sora. What's up? How are you?" I asked.

"Pissed."

"Uh oh…"

"Taichi Kamiya, do you have any idea what today - or tomorrow is due to the time difference there?" she asked angrily.

I was dumb founded. "Uhh…"

"Taichi Kamiya… It's my twentieth birthday. Did forget already? You've only been in America for about a year, and you already forgot your best friends birthday? I cannot believe you!"

I was in for it… Matt's music label company told him that they were going to create a new CD to be released in a couple of months, but they needed more new songs for it. I had been extremely busy racking my head for more lyrics… I couldn't believe that I forgot it was Sora's birthday.

"I called you at 12 a.m. New York time on your birthday because you asked me to… I was waiting for you to call me today…" she said in a softer voice.

I was only half-listening to her that time. I heard someone at my door but they hadn't knocked, so I walked towards it to stare through the peep hole…

"Sora?" I asked her through the phone.

"Yes?"

"Wh-What are you doing outside of my apartment?" I asked her, continuing to speak through the receiver, and opening the door at the same time.

Sora stood at my door step looking slightly flustered. "I... I… Umm… I'm guessing you haven't checked your called ID," she said, giving me a weak smile.

I looked down at the wireless phone I was holding, and checked the called ID: Matt Ishida. "Matt…? I don't get it," I replied completely confused now.

"Tai, I'm borrowing one of Matt's phones. He gave me a plane ticket to see you as soon as he got a temporary passport for me, for my birthday… He said you really wanted to see me… But I'm guessing not seeing as you even forgot my birthday!" she exclaimed.

I put my hands on her back and escorted her inside my apartment. I caught eye contact with one of my nosey neighbors as they 'tsked' at me and shook their head before walking back inside their own home.

"Sora… I… I'm so sorry… Matt's music label, well they needed these new songs, and I've been at it all month trying to make a new song… But I've really been all out of material ever since I-" I stopped myself there. I couldn't admit that I believed I got writers' block since I left Japan and Sora.

Sora stared at me intently. "Ever since what Tai…?" she asked quietly.

"Uhh… Well…-"

She walked up to me and wrapped her arms around me. "I've missed you so much Tai!" she said.

I returned the embrace. "I've missed you too Sora…" I admitted.

She let go of me and turned around. "Umm… Tai…?" she asked shyly.

"Yeah? What is it Sora?"

"That's not the only reason why I'm here. I… I don't really mind that you didn't call me today seeing as I'm not even in Japan for you to contact me. I… I just really want an answer Tai. Please? For my birthday?"

"Answer? What are you…?"

"Tai…" she said. Her voiced was laced in sadness.

Before I could respond, she turned back around to face me. She wrapped her arms around me and kissed me.


End file.
